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The Deeper Side of Choice

Originally published in 2012.

When the word choice comes up in regards to women the conversation often starts and stops with abortion. While it is an element of choice, I don’t think that should be the center of the conversation. The right to choose is much more complex than the one piece of the puzzle that we allow to polarize us.

What exactly is choice? According to the American Heritage Dictionary it is: The power, right, or liberty to choose; option. So when I say I’m pro-choice what exactly am I saying? Simply this, I believe every woman has the power, the right, and the liberty to make choices about her life.

These choices can range from which college she wants to attend, if that is the path she chooses, the career she pursues, if she even chooses to have one or not; as well as if she marries or not, or if and when she has children, how many children, and how she chooses to birth and feed them. Then there is the after effects of having children, does she remain at home or continue the career she had, if she had one. How will her children be educated, what religious institution will they frequent together, or if they will frequent one at all? (Yes the latter ones will usually involve the input of a woman’s significant other/spouse/father of the child, but her opinion should still matter, she should still have some power in the choice being made-I know that sadly this isn’t always the case, but a woman should have a say, period-).

From these choices springs a well of other choices and those choices lead to other choices, and so forth. Just like with the so called “mommy wars” we can’t allow the choices women make to derail us from the greater issue, ensuring that our daughters, granddaughter, great-granddaughters, nieces, and so on still have the ability to make choices in their lives.

Are there choices that women make that I wouldn’t make? Of course. Do I make choices that others wouldn’t make? Most definitely. Not every woman wants the number of children I have, nor do they want to be housewives, let alone homeschoolers, I do though. That is the beauty of choice I can make mine and they can make theirs and we can all strive to live this one life we have to the fullest, and bask in freedom to be our own person.

So, let’s strive to dig deeper than the few choices some women make and see the bigger picture, the picture that respects that each woman should have the power to make choices for herself and not have those choices made for her by others. The abortion “debate” and “mommy wars” are all distractions ladies; they distract us from the work that still needs to be done to solidify our place in society. They turn us against each other instead of uniting us, because if women are really to reach true equality, true power as players in this world, we have to band together despite the differences in our choices. Abortion won’t be going away; mothers won’t always make the same choices, imagine how boring our world would be if we all raised our children the same exact way!

You won’t always like my choices, I won’t always like your choices, but I’m pro-choice because I believe despite the differences you have every right to make those choices for yourself. As I said before choice is deeper than the polarizing issues, it’s time to change the conversation to one that is actually productive for women over the long term and stop the henpecking, bitching, and belittling, because ladies it will just find us going back instead of forward and the next generation of girls deserves better than that. We all deserve better than that.

Copyright(c)2012 Rayven Holmes

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