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Division of Labor
I am not responsible… I am not responsible for… your failed relationships I am not responsible for… your inability to sit...

Rayven Holmes
Apr 31 min read
11 views
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The Death of Love
Sometimes love dies at Valentine's. Sometimes the love doesn’t die with a big bang. Sometimes there are no heated battles waged on the...

Rayven Holmes
Feb 141 min read
6 views
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I Should Have Swung: Thanksgiving with the In-Laws
I’l preface this by stating we’ve only shared one Thanksgiving with my in-laws. It was our first Thanksgiving as a married couple and the la

Rayven Holmes
Nov 28, 20247 min read
18 views
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How Far I've Come
"These performances didn’t come with fame and money, though. There was only grief."

Rayven Holmes
Aug 11, 20246 min read
9 views
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Grief - A Year Later
"... where does one go when there's no going back but forward feels too heavy a load to carry."

Rayven Holmes
Jul 21, 20244 min read
27 views
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Freedom and Grief
I wrote this after a wave of immense sadness hit me on Juneteenth. Today we celebrate freedom That's what the white folks think In...

Rayven Holmes
Jun 22, 20242 min read
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Take the Time
Reflections on the time we don't take.

Rayven Holmes
Jun 13, 20243 min read
10 views
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Battle of Wills
“I’m fine”… Shhh, you don’t mean that - my heart interjects “No, really, I’m fine” … I protest Why do you lie to them - my heart asks My...

Rayven Holmes
May 21, 20242 min read
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Flowers in the Attic: A Reflection on Extended Family Trauma
I've noticed a lot of discussions on family trauma center around the immediate family (parents, siblings, and possibly grandparents...

Rayven Holmes
Mar 17, 20246 min read
11 views
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Another Trip Around The Sun: Birthday Reflections
Another trip around the sun. While I’m not hitting one of the big zero birthdays (I’ve got two years to go before the big 4-0), this...

Rayven Holmes
Feb 17, 20244 min read
20 views
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Unseized Potential - Musings on the Ones Who Got Away
I wrote this in December of 2020 as part of a writing activity that a then acquaintance, now friend, had come up with. As I move through...

Rayven Holmes
Jan 31, 20244 min read
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Splintered Personality: Healing the Versions of Myself
“I feel like there are three versions of myself attempting to coexist in this one body.” Before the holidays my therapist gave me an...

Rayven Holmes
Jan 17, 20248 min read
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Tending the Roots
I enjoy gardening. My favorite part of it isn’t the harvest, but the planting or the act of creating a space for roots to grow. As I’ve...

Rayven Holmes
Jan 5, 20243 min read
9 views
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The Day My Mother Died
I want to talk about the day my mother died. It was a Friday. It was supposed to be the weekend that ushered in a summer of fun. I...

Rayven Holmes
Dec 29, 202311 min read
25 views
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Broken Vulnerability
My mother's death broke me. I feel like I'm saying that a lot, but it's true. I've been through the wringer in life and those previous...

Rayven Holmes
Dec 6, 20235 min read
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The Masks We Wear
My childhood home was the epitome of what happens in this house stays in this house. We didn't discuss my father's affairs, resentment,...

Rayven Holmes
Nov 29, 20235 min read
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Digital Finches and the Death of Friendship
A couple of weeks ago, I downloaded the Finch app. It's like a Tamagotchi for mental health. I put in a series of goals that I check...

Rayven Holmes
Nov 15, 20235 min read
14 views
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Grief: The Ultimate Purgatory
My mom is dead. She died in July. I mailed her a copy of An Obituary for the Living, but she never opened it. She was probably too sick...

Rayven Holmes
Nov 2, 20236 min read
45 views
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Kink Tales: The Twisted Relationship With My Crown
“Who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the color of your skin? To such extent you bleach, to get like...

Rayven Holmes
Jul 9, 20238 min read
28 views
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Do You Remember...
Content warning - sexual assault. Memory is a funny thing. Some days it works as you intend it to, recalling the details of your life...

Rayven Holmes
Jun 28, 20235 min read
13 views
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